McRae

I love my middle name. I think it's because the name connects me to the grandmother I've never met, Norma McRae Chivers Cheney, who in my mind's eye is the perfect embodiment of grace, femininity, gumption, and faith. In honor of my grandmother, each of her children gave the middle name McRae to one of their children. Of the four kids born to my parents, they chose to make me the McRae of the family. Maybe that makes me feel special somehow, to think that I was carefully chosen to be the steward of her name and to carry on her legacy in some small way. Or maybe I love my middle name so much because my grandma's predecessors, the McRae clan of Scotland, have an elegant castle overlooking a lake, and a clan plaid that is the most beautiful combination of navy and forest green, and the motto "FORTITUDE," which if you think about it is a word that perfectly encompasses the meanings of the words grace, gumption, and faith.

My grandmother had three different last names during her lifetime. She was born to Edgar and Ethel McRae. They died within three years of one another when she was just a teenager, and as an only child, she had to learn quickly how to be independent and self-motivated. In her mid 20s she married my grandfather Robert Chivers, who after 15 years of marriage left her on the brink of poverty with five children to care for. She remarried Jack Cheney, who had also been previously married and had children of his own. Trying to merge two families during the 1970s was much more trying and tiring then they made it look on the Brady Bunch. So when you strip away the pain and the heartaches Grandma experienced in life, the death of her parents, the end of her first marriage, and the struggles of her second, she becomes just Norma. I think for this reason, my siblings and cousins and I have always referred to her as Grandma Norma. But the part of her that we carry with us, as part of our own identity, is McRae. For me, McRae represents her grace and her faith in the face of tragedy. McRae is her fortitude.

Once I asked my mom about Grandma Norma's funeral, and she told me a precious story that has remained with me ever since. My mom says that everyone at the funeral kept telling her that Norma was their best friend. Everyone. People my mom didn't even know kept telling her that Norma was their best friend. All the people there thought they were Norma's best friend, when apparently that's just the way  Grandma Norma treated people.

A few months ago my brother and his wife had their second child. They named him Oliver McRae, and don't tell the others, but I already know that he is going to be my favorite nephew. Someday I want to have a daughter named McRae. McRae Grace Sessions. And I want to teach her to be kind and compassionate, and spunky and persistent, just like my grandmother was. I hope she'll feel special knowing that she was carefully chosen to carry on the McRae legacy, and I hope that she will treat everyone like her best friend.