To Raise a Child

I just spent the last 24 hours in the hospital. A client at work was standing behind a door and didn’t see me coming. She tried to shut the door right as I was walking through with my hands full and the doorknob left a good three-inch bruise on my belly. Poor woman felt awful. My midwife sent me to the hospital to be monitored for a couple hours, but when the admitting OB saw the bruise, she decided to keep me overnight. It was awful. But as I lay there listening to my baby’s healthy little heartbeat, napping occasionally and dreaming about different ways I could escape, I had some good solid hours of reflection. And I wondered, “What does it mean to raise a child?”

I must admit that I have no idea. I have never raised a child. This little boy that is days or weeks away from joining our family will have a very novice mother and father. We love him dearly, but we have no idea what we are doing. Despite my ineptitude, the phrase “to raise a child” has some interesting connotations and has caused me some interesting introspection. So, little boy, here are at least three things that I hope it means to raise you.

I hope to raise you to God. To “raise” something implies a lifting, an elevating, a reaching upward. We often think of God as being up high, in heaven, somewhere in the sky. I believe in God. I believe we have a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother. I believe their son, Jesus Christ, is our brother and our Savior. I want to teach you to reach upward to them. I want to give you experiences that allow you to believe in them as I do. And even though I want to raise you up to them, I want your faith in them to ground you and direct you. I want to help you get to know your Heavenly Father and your Savior Jesus Christ. I hope that through me and through the amazing grandmothers and aunts in our family, you are able to gain some understanding about your Heavenly Mother as well. Your Grandma and Grandpa have raised me to God and because of that I have great peace and happiness in life. I want you to have the same peace and happiness that comes from knowing God. You are my child, but you are also God’s child, and first and foremost, I want to raise you to them.

I hope to raise you to good.  There is so much that is good in this world. There are good books to read, good music to listen to, good art to see, good dances to dance, good food to eat, good friends to be made, and good work to be done. There are beautiful sunsets and gorgeous flowers and brilliant stars. You will meet people and see things that simply knock you over with their goodness. I want you to experience all the good this world has to offer. However, as much as there is good in the world, there is also bad. I know I can’t protect you from the bad, and to be honest, I don’t know that I want to protect you from all the bad. Because experiencing some of the bad will help you recognize the good. I want to help you overcome the bad with the good. I want to help you find the good and to elevate you above the bad. So, while you will inevitably be exposed to bad, I hope to raise you to good.

I hope to raise you to love. The most elevating force that I am aware of in this life is love. It will raise you and it will raise the people you share it with. Love will uplift you and you can use it to uplift others. I want to teach you how to love. I hope to demonstrate this love in the way I treat you and in the way I treat the people that we meet. I want you to know how fiercely I love you. I want you to know how fiercely I love your father. I hope our love with lift you, and I hope to raise you to love.

In Portuguese and Spanish you don’t “raise” a child; you “criar” or “create” a child. Raising a child and creating a child seem to go hand in hand. When people talk about their “upbringing” or the people who “raised” them, they focus on the lessons they were taught and the experiences they were afforded that contributed to their creation. I realize that much of your creation is already taken care of. The essential elements of a physical body are already fully formed inside of me, and long before I hold you in my arms, your Heavenly Creator will have already formed your eternal and spiritual elements. You will come to this world and already be your own independent person, with a unique personality and unique traits and perspectives. I am thrilled to get to know you. However, I also realize that a great deal of your “creation” is still up to me and your dad. We still have so much to teach you. Whether we intend to have an influence or not, who you become will largely depend on what we do to create you. Please be patient with us. We will make mistakes. We might make big mistakes, but as we try to raise you to God to good and to love, please know that your creation is our greatest treasure.